This was emailed to me, and I loved it:
THIS IS SO WELL PUT I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! IF HE EVER RUNS OR ANY OFFICE, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion.
That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens.
We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and
You can make nice with
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology,
Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle-up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this?
If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely, John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.